I’ll get to it…eventually

I think it might be time to own up to one of my many faults. I’m a slacking, procrastinating, S.O.B. I enjoy doing things very much. I also enjoy avoiding other things just as much, if not more. There are many things that I have wanted to do, as well as things that I want to do now, that I just will not allow myself to do. There are also many things that need to be done that I won’t allow either. One would think that there is an easy fix to this. At least, the things that are required and not just “wanted”. In some cases, there definitely are easy fixes; other times, not so much. A lot of the time, this is due to fear.
I oftentimes make the attempt to portray myself as a fearless person. I like to try new things and go to new places when I have the opportunity (that qualifies as fearless, right?). But with big changes and decisions,things can get rather overwhelming pretty quickly. Even when the answer is logical and clearly right in front of me. Committing my time and energy to most things is a big step. This is not because I am a busy person. I am far from it. As a matter of fact, I woke up at 10 this morning just to sit around and play video games. There are many other things that I could have been doing that would have been much more productive. I tend to work on things as I get to them until I get a call to go into work or do something else. Little things like this “blog” are good exercises in making daily habits. Now, if only I could get around to doing it every day. But, what about important things? Obligations, jobs, and the like?
I think I tend to avoid making important decisions about the aforementioned things out of fear. What if I succeed? Will I be required to spend more time doing this? Am I ok with that, or will doing more cause me to get burnt out? If I decided that I don’t like it, can I stop? If I enjoy it and want to do more, will I be able to produce desired results on a regular basis? So many questions being answered with more questions. Relationships? Ha…What if I miss out on something? Someone? These questions don’t always show up right away, but usually when its time to jump in to the proverbial “deep end.”
It is a fear of losing control of a situation. Maybe even a situation that I was never in control of. Doing something like this blog is a “simple” exercise. I am in control of the content. I can add to, take away, and leave things as they are. I can decide that I don’t want to mess with it one day and there are no repercussions. With more important decisions, avoiding them will not help anything. Sometimes, you have to let go and jump in. See what can happen. Go with the flow. Lose expectations. Just be there.

Cowardice

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2 thoughts on “I’ll get to it…eventually

  1. I loved your post, I really did! I kinda know what it feels like, I wrote something related to Changes. And I also mention “Who moved my cheese” it’s a marvellous story, it metaphorically describes what you wrote.

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