It’s been a draining weekend. Had a few ups and downs, but I think a few things have been resolved. I quit a project, had practice with another project…and tried to stay out of the house and out of my head for as long as I possibly could.
I quit the band. The conversation went well. I’m looking back over my reasons and now they seem completely ridiculous. They were honest and I’m denying myself the closure. I did what I had to do for myself. I reminded myself that if it wasn’t enriching my life or making me better, it probably wasn’t worth doing. A friend told me that I’m allowed to do something positive for myself. It didn’t feel positive, but I think in another day or two, I’ll be ready to move forward. It’s for the best.
My other project had a get together today to put some finishing touches on a set for this weekend. This one doesn’t make me want to quit every day. That’s a good thing. I once told someone that “If you don’t want to quit at least once a day, you’re not doing it right.”. I may have lied. Or maybe… It was more of a statement of a challenge. I guess it can be looked at a couple of different ways. You’re going to get burned out on occasion, but hopefully it isn’t every day.
I spent time with the roommate… We had coffee… Well I did anyway… They detest coffee but want sweet sugary Starbucks blended drinks sans caffeine. I don’t get it, but I don’t have to. The coffee was delicious.
I haven’t really taken much time to myself, but I think I probably should. I don’t really like posting my whines and gripes up on here. If anyone is going to see it though… I’d rather it be random strangers than people I know personally. Something about being somewhat anonymous even though my face is plastered in my about page.
Right now, my dog is laying next to me in my ever deteriorating bed and she loves the big indention that just seems to keep getting bigger. Now it’s bigger than her so she can really relax… That’s good. I will be sliding her over soon, so I can sleep in the big dent. It’s a nice quiet night and I think my head is clearer than it has been in weeks… If not months…
I’ve got a new tune almost completely worked out after 20 hours of accumulated practice… I’m excited to record it and see what other things I can add to it to give it more color and texture. Only one way to get better and that’s to keep working on it. Soon I’ll have enough material to maybe re-record a few and maybe make an EP. That would be fun and rewarding. Now to go to sleep and see what else I can dream up.