What was the one experience that completely changed your life? What happened? How did it change your life?
When I was 24, I got my girlfriend pregnant. What happened? I think you know what happened. How does one usually get another one pregnant? She called me from my sister’s house and asked me to come over. We had pretty much decided to break up the night before. She said “You might want to sit down. I have something to tell you.” I looked at her and smirked a little. It sounded like one of those cliche things you see in the movies. “You might want to sit down. I’ve got news and I don’t know how you’ll take it.” She told me in a quiet voice that she was pregnant. It took a second to analyze the words running back and forth in my mind. At first, like any young immature guy, I asked…”How did this happen?” She gave me the “DUH!” look. Of course I knew what happened. I didn’t want to accept it because we had just ended our relationship. I took it as we were going to be stuck together. Neither of us wanted to be with the other. I remember driving home with her and freaking out. We weren’t ready for this, but really…Who is? As the weeks passed by, we got a little more comfortable with the idea. We even told my parents. My dad, whom I had just recently got into touch with after about two decades, was very very happy. My mom…not so much. She made no attempt to hide it. The girlfriend woke me up one day and said “I’m going home because I want to be near my family during this process. I need you to come with me.” We discussed and agreed that I wouldn’t be going with her at that time, but I would come up at the end of the year. What was a couple of months? It would be a chance to save a little more money before I made a big move. I sent her off a couple of days later. We talked as much as we could. The fighting had stopped for the time, but I still wasn’t sure how I was going to handle this huge change. The fighting started again. It was a quieter, yet more severe thing this time. We broke up almost daily and made up just as much. I called her one day and told her I wasn’t coming. I had a weak moment and was freaking out. I called her later telling her I would be there in a few weeks. The day before I went up she called me with news. “You might want to sit down. I’ve got some news and I’m not sure how you’re going to take it. Are you sitting down?” I said “Yes.” “I lost it.” “What?” “The baby.” “What?” It was like the words didn’t register. I couldn’t comprehend anything at that point. I was at work and I was a half day’s drive away. “Go to work and get it done. This can wait a couple of hours.” Of course, it couldn’t but we both needed a distraction even if it was just for a few. We talked later that night and the next day. We fought. I wasn’t going fast enough. She wasn’t being understanding. Lots of excuses…none of them mattered…all of them distractions. We broke up again….A few hours later I called her telling her I was on my way. If she was going through it, I was going to as well….even if I felt like none of it even mattered at the time. It was something I had to do. We stayed with her family for a couple of weeks and I said “It’s time to go home.” We packed my truck and her car and drove back home, furniture and pets in tow. We had a lot of ups and downs. We never really ever talked about what had happened. She tried, but I refused. I didn’t know what to think. We were growing apart when it had happened. I honestly felt relief. Not that someone had passed, but that we got a second chance to be more responsible. Our relationship pretty much ended a few months later. We had different priorities, and we couldn’t come to a compromise. That year and a half was a huge life changing experience to me.