How am I selfish?

     This is another question taken from the Soul Pancake book (Bear with me on this, as I’m just trying to start a habit of writing more on this thing.).  


  • I refused to move out of state with an SO because I didn’t want to leave what I was used to.  Even if I wasn’t so comfortable where I was at that point, I wouldn’t have left with her.  I did not see a point or benefit.  
  • There are certain people in my life that I will not spend time with outside of whatever activity I associate them with.  Again, I don’t really see a benefit in spending time with them outside of that particular activity.
  • I once talked an ex girlfriend who had started dating a friend of mine into breaking up with him, so that I could move in yet again.

     These are just a few examples of how I am selfish.  They probably aren’t the best reasons, but they’re the first few that popped up in my head.  They were just conveniently there.  I’m starting to see a pattern here.  If I couldn’t have it my way, I didn’t want it at all.  I am still this way sometimes.  But when you’re used to getting what you want, you start wanting more, right?

What is greed?

     Reading a definition from the web, I see that it is an intense desire for something.  It could be anything.  Greed to me is, like the definition says, wanting more and more of something.  I want more, more, more.  I don’t want to share.  Why should I give to someone else when they can earn something themselves?  I’d imagine for a bit that if I had everything, I’d probably feel pretty happy with that.  Then I’d just want more and more of that.  I wouldn’t ever learn to be content because I’d never stop desiring everything long enough to appreciate what I already have.  But say you just don’t want to give something up.  You’re attached to this thing…it could be a thought/idea/physical thing….You just don’t want to give it up even if it might help.

What is it ok to be attached to?

     I haven’t got very far in this thought to be honest.  I think it is ok to be attached to your values, thoughts, everything to a point.  When you start holding on for dear life to a thought process that allows you to think it’s ok to let harm come to someone…I don’t think that is ok at all.  


I’m not sure if I thought these things through in the correct context, but it works for me.




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